Grades and Girls: What Your Parents Never Told You About College Read online

  Grades and Girls

  Text copyright © 2017 Seth Rose and Masculine Books.com. All rights reserved.

  Published by Seth Rose and Masculine Books.

  Cover by Matt Lawrence

  This book is licensed for your personal use only and may not be re-sold or given away to anyone else. With the exception of small amounts of text used for review purposes, no part of this book may be reproduced by any means without the expressed written consent of the author, Seth Rose.

  Contact Seth at [email protected].

  Table ofContents

  Preface

  Introduction

  Part 1: An Overview of College

  Chapter 1: Preparing for College

  Chapter 2: The College Debt Trap

  Chapter 3: Weighing the Pros and Cons of College

  Chapter 4: Applying to Schools

  Chapter 5: How to Approach College

  Chapter 6: SJW’s, Feminists and Marxists, Oh My!

  Part 2: PLAY

  Chapter 7: The Great College Myth

  Chapter 8: The Social Hierarchy

  Chapter 9: Defining the Big Man on Campus

  Chapter 10: Understanding Greek Life

  Chapter 11: The Pledge Survival Guide

  Chapter 12: Staying Independent

  Chapter 13: Alcohol, Everybody’s Closest Friend

  Chapter 14: College Girls

  Chapter 15: College Game

  Chapter 16: How to Talk to College Girls (In General)

  Chapter 17: Seth’s College Party Guide

  Chapter 18: Bar/Club Game

  Chapter 19: College Game In Action: You Night Out

  Chapter 20: Day Game

  Chapter 21: Going on Dates

  Chapter 22: Online Dating (And Dating Apps)

  Chapter 23: Love, Don’t Hate

  Chapter 24: A Few Last Words on Sex and Dating

  Part 3: Grades

  Chapter 25: The “Real World”

  Chapter 26: Credentialism

  Chapter 27: Identifying Macro Trends

  Chapter 28: Overview of Majors and Careers

  Chapter 29: Graduate School

  Chapter 30: Study and Productivity Tips

  Chapter 31: Finding a “Home Away From Home”

  Part 4: Lifestyle

  Chapter 32: Your Schedule

  Chapter 33: Habits

  Chapter 34: Jobs

  Chapter 35: Living Arrangements

  Chapter 36: Events and Travel

  Part 5: Your 4 Year Action Plan

  Chapter 37: Internships and Career Development

  Chapter 38: Life After College

  Chapter 39: Paying Back Debt

  Chapter 40: My Life After College

  Conclusion

  All I Ask...

  Appendix

  Required Reading/Resources

  Footnotes

  Preface

  I wrote the first edition to this book back in the winter of 2013/2014. It was a way for me to not only be nostalgic about my recent graduation, but to pass on what I had learned to current and future college students. Though there were a couple books on college at the time, no book combined the academic side with the social aspect of college (Hence the title Grades and Girls). This is the first, and only, book that I am aware of that combines the two into one overarching book.

  The book was never published though because it felt insincere on my part. After graduation I moved home with mom and dad. I had two liberal arts degrees, and none of them could get me a decent job. Therefore, I couldn’t publish this book without being an expert on the subject.

  The reason there are so few books on college is because no one can spend a lifetime studying college. Most only get four years’ worth of observations, and then they move into the “real world.” I had a unique opportunity as I decided to go back to school for my Master’s in the Fall of 2015. I now had the chance to go back to school, and observe the dynamics of university from an academic and social perspective again.

  This time I did things somewhat differently. My social life was non-existent, but my academic life was great. As of this writing, I will be working full-time with two paid internships in my final semester of school. I feel confident in my understanding of how college really works and thus have the knowledge now to pass that on to the reader.

  Compared to the original book, this book is twice the length! I essentially wrote an entirely new book and spent a ton of time on it. I am a perfectionist, and I felt I couldn’t leave out any subject that guys may want to read about. Now, no college student will be without the tools to have a kick-ass life in college and beyond.

  Again, this is a pretty lengthy book. I recommend you read the whole thing, of course, but if certain section are of no interest to you (e.g. Greek Life) feel free to skip them. I also recommend you pay attention to the footnotes (yes, this is a college textbook!). There is a lot of valuable information in there you should check out that will broaden your horizons on this subject.

  Introduction

  I’m sure you’ve seen or at least heard of classic college films like Animal House and Van Wilder. While the events in those films are clearly exaggerated, it is possible to take part in the crazy antics seen in those films. However, to enjoy those things one must be a certain type of man, with certain types of friends in a larger social circle. That type of man is the Big Man On Campus (or BMOC).

  To me, this ideal man works hard by day and parties hard by night. He’s got good grades and he gets laid. He’s got a good internship or co-op coming up in the summer all the while having a great group of friends. I’m going to tell you how to be that man and so much more, but let’s back up a bit.

  Who the Hell am I and how did I get here?

  I hated high school. I wasn’t cool, I had acne and I did nothing with my life. Alright, well that’s not fair. I did play videogames, masturbate excessively to porn, and sit home on the weekends watching TV.

  I wanted to go to the parties the cool kids were going to. I wanted to be popular in school. I wanted to get laid, or at the very least kiss a girl!

  So I set out to change things. I just needed an opportunity to start over. You know, get a new shot. College was the perfect storm. I would attend college a few states over.

  I was the only kid from my high school going there so no one would know the true me. I could totally reinvent myself.

  The summer before starting college I remember going to the mall and getting new clothes, shoes, and some accessories. Stuff I would never have considered wearing in high school. I wanted to be cool and since I wasn’t cool in high school I felt I couldn’t wear these things.

  Most of us live our lives through the perception of others. We believe society has a certain perception of us and we must fulfill the role we are given. To break that role not only would it be awkward, but I would be criticized by my peers. I thought I could create a new perception of myself by moving away and changing my wardrobe like I was on the FBI’s Top 10 Most Wanted List. That’s not how this shit works!

  I found that out the hard way. I was finally at school and it was my first day of class. I was running late so I had to throw everything together quickly. I sprayed some cologne on, threw on some all-white Adidas sneakers and my new Burberry glasses. I ran down the hall to the elevator.

  There weren’t too many Freshman in my dorm so I was joined by two upperclassman. As soon as I walked in they were hit with the musk of my cologne. They saw the glasses and the sneakers. They had huge grins on their faces they tried to hide. Needless to say I felt like shit. I walked ou
t of the elevator and put my glasses away.

  It was then that I realized that moving a few hundred miles away and changing clothes didn’t make me a different person. Sure, I could have tried to create some new persona, but the best way to fulfill my desires was to actually become the person I wanted to be through experiences and behavioral changes.

  It was a long road indeed to get where I am today. I am incredibly happy with where I am and who I am as a person. By the time I graduated school I had become a pretty fucking cool guy.

  So how is it that I went from being a dorky pizza face geek, to a cool guy that got laid?

  To be honest, it wasn’t that hard. It was a gradual process though, so patience was required, but I never really had to overcome any trials or tribulations.

  The most important thing was putting myself in a position where I could “be myself”. While you may think “being yourself” is terrible advice that your parents gave you, it’s actually amazing advice. I’m a firm believer that all men have a version of themselves that is witty, fun, charming etc.

  Do you ever notice that you act differently around your close friends than you do around pretty girls? There’s a reason for this. You’re hiding who you really are. To get the most out of college, and life for that matter you must bring this version of yourself to the surface.

  To do this you must put yourself in a position where you’re comfortable enough to be this person. I did this by joining a fraternity. It allowed me to make amazing friendships, better than anything I experienced in high school. I took up multiple leadership positions and became a leader of my peers when I was nothing of the sort a few years prior. I found out I was actually good with girls when I had never even kissed a girl in high school. (A quick note: I don’t expect everyone who reads this to join a frat so I’ll do my best to not shove Greek Life down your throats and do the best I can to make this applicable to the broadest range of people possible).

  I strongly believe that barring a severe physical deformity or some sort of mental illness, any guy can have an awesome college experience. If you have the right mindset and put yourself in a position to succeed I have no doubt that you can become a Big Man On Campus.

  But there’s more to partying and socializing while at college. I learned that the hard way.

  Though I partied less than the average college guy, I worked a lot less. I had a liberal arts degree that got me nowhere. I had a few good interviews (even with the CIA!), but spent a couple of years living at home with my parents. In fact, I ended up going back to grad school.

  That’s why I am (re)-writing this book. I originally released the book in the winter of 2013, just after graduating. I never put it up for sale, because it felt incongruent.

  How could I, someone who couldn’t get a job with their Bachelor’s degree, write a book giving college advice? It would be dishonest. I didn’t want to charge young men a book for something I wasn’t an expert on, so I put up the book for free on my blog.

  But I decided to release a new version of the book because going to grad school gave me a new perspective on the college experience. I was much more conscious of my decision to go back to school, what school I chose, what degree I chose, internships, organizations, study habits and much more.

  I also had a duty to release this book.

  Most 18 year olds are sent to college these days with little idea of what to expect. They choose a bad major, party too much, get involved with the wrong crowd, or make some other bad decision leaving them with regrets.

  I need to help those men.

  There isn’t enough information out there designed to help young men have an amazing college experience, both academically and socially. In fact, this is the only book I know of that adequately combines the two. There are good books on college I will share throughout, but none of them are this thorough.

  I am a humble man, but this is the most definitive book on the college experience out there.

  The fact that you have this book in front of you will take you into the upper-echelon of men. Not just in college, but for the rest of your life.

  I am so glad you decided to buy this book. I only hope I can live up to your expectations.

  Without further ado, I present to you Grades and Girls.

  Part 1: An Overview of College

  Most students are given one choice after high school: Go to college.

  Parents, teachers, guidance counselors and fellow students all repeat the mantra: Go to college, get a good job, work, marry, die.

  To life a fulfilling life as a man you need to break out of that matrix. That is not to say you shouldn’t go to college, but you should understand why you are going.

  Chapter 1: Preparing for College

  The truth is that college is not for everyone. Prior to World War II, college was only accessible for a select few. Wealthy families would send their children off to college to get a degree, oftentimes in the liberal arts. Back then, these liberal arts majors would get jobs because a.) Their parents were wealthy and probably owned a business or b.) Any profession would hire a college graduate.

  Today, it’s an employer’s market. There are so many college grads to choose from that employers can go through 50+ people for one job opening, if not hundreds of applicants.

  These slim odds of landing a good job is why not everyone should go to college. Even if college wasn’t about getting a job, financially it still would not be worth it.

  Moreover, the majority of people out there are simply not that intelligent. The truth hurts, but most people can’t handle the rigors of a valuable academic discipline.

  My mother is a community college teacher. She often regales me with stories of students who are really unintelligent. Even after going through 12+ years of one of the country’s “best education systems” (an oxymoron for public school), many students still can’t string together coherent sentences.

  Why on Earth are these students in college?

  Yet, they are coming in droves. The cries of “Go to college, just go to college” are too strong and constantly bombard them.

  You should not go to college, just ‘because that’s what everyone else does.’ Doing so ensures you’ll major in something worthless, with no job to show for it after four years.

  Before you enroll in college, you need to have a game plan. You should have a deliberate purpose for why you are enrolling in college.

  The truth is that most 18 year olds really don’t know what they want out of life. They don’t have enough real world experience to make major decisions like going to college, so they just listen to their elders. This puts most young people in a terrible situation, because at the age of just 18 they’re being told to borrow tons of money and to not think about what major to choose, instead just “Following their heart.”

  This is the key message in Aaron Clarey’s Reconnaissance Man.[1] He balks at the notion that young men should immediately attend college after high school. I completely agree.

  Instead of going right to college, why not travel the country or the world? Taking a ‘gap year’ to figure out things is a smart move.

  Taking some time off will allow you to think of other options besides college such as joining the military or working. The same advice goes for these options as going to college: Don’t do so mindlessly. That’s especially a bad idea for joining the military.

  But if you weigh the pros and cons of college and its alternatives, you may opt for something else.

  The military is a fulfilling line of work. It builds discipline, camaraderie, strength and will no doubt give you plenty of applicable skills. In fact, if I had to do it over again I would have joined the military at some point.

  As for working, ask yourself what kind of job you would get right out of high school. Is it a minimum wage retail job? Would you be waiting tables? Not only are those poorly paid, unfulfilling, terrible jobs, but you can do those in college as well.

  One good option is to go to trade school. These are hard,
unexciting lines of work, but they are in demand and pay well. Plumbers and electricians will make more money than most college graduates, not just in their 20’s, but at any age. Moreover, they don’t take out tons of debt and sit in a classroom for four years.

  Another excellent choice for young men is to go into sales. Will Freemen of Revolutionary Lifestyle Design is a big proponent of this. He even wrote How to Sell as a complete guide to the sales industry.[2]

  I’m a big proponent of finding a happy medium. This is why I ignore the groups of people that say “You have to go to college”, but also the crowds that say “Nobody should go to college.” These are too extreme. Instead, you should find a way to reconcile college with other potential opportunities.

  I read a recent article by Peter Diamandis who said it best: When given a choice…take both![3]

  When going to college you are allowed to pursue other options: You can bartend, wait tables, build a start-up, drive Uber, play in a band, work a sales job and more.

  If you want to join the military and go to school, you can join the reserves or do ROTC. You’ll receive a lot of great benefits. (Just know that instead of partying on the weekends you’ll be doing drills, which is not a bad idea as to avoid excess partying).

  I highly recommend pursuing one additional route while in college, such as the aforementioned ideas of working, building a business (even a website is a great asset to have), or joining the military. Some dropped out, others graduated. Though most became rich. Doing one of these things, or pursuing similar options, in addition to your degree will have you sitting pretty come graduation.